The pocket money gap – and 10 other ways girls are taught they’re worth less

A new study has revealed that the gender pay gap begins as early as childhood, with boys on average receiving 20% more pocket money than girls. While the disparity, which amounts to £2.20 per week, might not seem calamitous, the message behind it matters.

When we treat our children differently from such a young age, we send them powerful indicators about their worth, their strengths and what will be expected of them in adulthood. Taken together, these influences can have a major impact. Here are 10 other ways in which girls are taught to devalue themselves.

Clothes

It isn’t an exaggeration to say that the problem starts at birth. A recent viral image of two babygrows hanging side by side in a shop revealed dramatically different messaging. “I’m super” was emblazoned across the blue version, while its purple counterpart read: “I hate my thighs.” As they grow into toddlerhood, boys’ clothes tend to be more robust and functional, with pockets and sturdy fabrics, whereas girls’ attire is more flimsy and designed with a focus on appearance, not activity.

Toys

From the soft bunnies and dollies thrust into little girls’ arms to the robots and building sets more commonly offered to boys, we subtly teach girls that they are expected to be passive, pretty and nurturing, while boys are given the opportunity to explore and learn. When a little girl sees a chemistry set in the “boys” toys section of the store, she gets the message that science isn’t for her, while boys are also taught by gendered and heteronormative toys from a young age that they aren’t expected to take part in domestic activities like cooking, cleaning and childcare.

Books

Despite recent fantastic campaigns to improve the diversity of children’s literature, many early-years books still present readers with stories about a nice, white daddy who goes out to work while the nice, white mummy stays at home baking cakes and looks after the children. Of course there’s nothing wrong with such a storyline, but if it’s the only one that children see over and over, it creates a sense of what’s “normal” or “expected” before they have even begun to consider their own future life choices. Not to mention the rather less-subtle impact of books for girls with titles like “How to be gorgeous”, with the boys’ equivalent, “How to be clever”.

Television

Research from the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media, which analysed 275 American children’s TV shows, revealed that just 30% of characters and 20% of narrators were female. So we subtly let children know that boys are the main event and girls are more often observers or window dressing. Even more important, the research demonstrated how content can send subtle messages to children about their future potential: only a quarter of employed characters in the show were female, normalising the idea that men are expected to be the main breadwinners.

Advertising

A 2012 Munch Bunch advert showed a little girl tottering around in red high heels and jewellery and a little boy lifting a broom above his head with the slogan: “Grownup like Mummy and strong like Daddy.” It was the perfect example of how advertising can direct children’s aspirations and teach them how they should expect to be valued in later life.

Party themes

Even children’s parties convey a clear message about the sort of roles we expect girls and boys to inhabit, with princess and fairy party bags abounding in the pink aisle, while more adventurous pirate and superhero themes suggest boys are active and in control.

Behaviour

The influences aren’t all external: it is also common for parents and other adults to socialise children from a young age to submit to certain gender stereotypes. Boys are proudly described as “boisterous”, as if it’s a badge of male honour, while girls are more likely to be shushed, told to be still and quiet, and scolded for getting clothes dirty. Research has found that parents interrupt girls more often than boys, and that boys are more likely to speak up in the classroom, behaviour that is sometimes subtly encouraged by teachers.

Fancy Dress

One story that always sticks in my mind is from a mother whose toddler daughter grabbed a toy stethoscope at a playgroup, prompting another parent to swoop in immediately and cry: “Ooh, you’re going to be a nurse!” Nursing is a brilliant career option, of course, but would the same reaction have been elicited by a two-year old boy? When children are given opportunities to mimic future career options, particularly with fancy dress, girls are routinely offered options like nurse or beautician costumes, while little boys choose between jobs such as policeman, fireman and doctor .

Compliments

How often do we praise little girls for being pretty, sweet or beautiful, and little boys for being smart, strong or clever? These might seem like benign and well-meaning words, but repeated over and over again, they start to ingrain the notion that girls are judged on their appearance and beauty, while boys’ action and intelligence matter more. Of course, the same is also true of insults – few little girls reach their teen years without hearing someone ridiculed at least once for doing something “like a girl”.

Money management

An early gender pay gap wasn’t the only finding to emerge from the research into children’s pocket money. It also revealed that parents are less likely to allow girls control of their own finances. While boys are given regular payments, teaching them to manage their money, parents are more likely to hold on to girls’ money until it is needed, or to buy items on their behalf. So children learn from childhood that men control the purse strings and women are less likely to handle their own finances.

Of course, none of these issues alone is a disaster. No single parental choice or TV show is to blame for socialising children into stereotypical gender roles. Nor is anybody suggesting that the answer is to force girls to dress only in blue or to provide nothing but dolls to every boy. But taken together, the impact is very real. So giving our children the widest possible range of choices, doing away with unnecessary gender segregation in marketing and improving the diversity of kids’ entertainment could have a much bigger impact on their futures than you might think.